Archived Quotes - a listing of the unspeakable!
" But at number eight, James Coughlan brought an understanding to the role much in the Anthony Foley mould." Liam Toland on an Old Christians Old Boy against Northampton
"when James Coughlan marked his first start in this magnificent competition by blocking down Stephen Myler’s kick and followed it up by man-handling Chris Ashton and his pink boots into touch, they (the crowd) rose to acknowledge his arrival" Donal Linehan Irish Examiner
" the baby of the pack,.. the 29- year-old James Coughlan... had a stormer and Stephen Myler will probably have gone to sleep with a vision of Coughlan in his face. His pace around the park and control off the base ... in a far more balanced backrow.." Gerry Thornley (IT) on James Coughlan HCup debut Apr 10
"when James Coughlan marked his first start in this magnificent competition by blocking down Stephen Myler’s kick and followed it up by man-handling Chris Ashton and his pink boots into touch, they (the crowd) rose to acknowledge his arrival" Donal Linehan Irish Examiner on James Coughlan HCup debut Apr 10
"Frankly, give me England and Martin 'Billy No Mates' Johnson any day ahead of Gatland's Wales. They may be delusional, but they're not drowning in self-absorption." Vincent Hogan on our neighbours! March 2010"I am surprised he passed that ball - normally he would not even give you swine flu!" Unacknowledged spectator admiring a scoring pass at an Old Christians game
"For a few months, I spent my time with my shoulder pushing the buttocks of other men and my arm reached up between their legs. Even after a lifetime in the Christian Brothers, I wasn’t prepared for that." Tom Humphries on playing second row
""The lady with excess avoirdupois isn't singing yet." George Hook at half-time in the Ireland Wales match expressing caution as only he can! March 2010
“We are his poison ivy and, short of sending an industrial vat of calamine lotion his way, it’s a little hard to see how Warren and us can be remotely compatible again.” Vincent Hogan on Warren gartland before the Ireland Wales game March 2010
"Paulie is just jealous. He has no hair, no tan, no teeth. Look at the two of us; it is clear to see who the better secondrow is. (I mean) better-looking secondrow.” Donnchadh on Paul
'If he had not tripped me, I think I would have collected the chip ahead comfortably and not found myself scrambling around unaware that I was about to become road-kill.' Brian O'Driscoll on Riki Flutey trip that lead to that bang on the head (Feb 2010)
"The weapon of choice was the cross-kick and the gambit paid off spectacularly on both occasions as those wingers suffered. Dracula would have been more comfortable with those crosses." Neil Francis on the targeting of Ugo Monye in Twickenham and Shane Williams in Cardiff last year. (Mar 2010)
"Dimitri Szarzewski's shorts rode up his buttocks to reveal his Stade Francais under-shorts – Jaysus we were beaten 33-10 by men in pink knickers." Neil Francis on a Parisian weekend in February 2010.
"This was written in the stars,.....Kidney's a Libra and they're not compatible with Leos..." An anonymous texter on the dropping of Cullen
"Poor old Jonny Wilko, the most overrated person since Judas Iscariot won the AD31 Best Disciple Competition." Neil Francis on the "world's best" fly half (Feb 2010)
"In the lead up to this match England's former flying wing Jason Robinson implored the English management to release their backs. You wouldn't release this lot on parole." Neil Francis (Feb 2010)
"Andy Powell's 5am jaunt to the EDF Service Station via junction 33 and 34 of the M4 on a stolen golf cart was such an act of breathtaking and biblical stupidity that it has completely restored my faith in professional rugby players." Neil Francis on a weekend in Wales
"That player is like a goldfish - his brain empties after three seconds" - Our Special One on a Special Player
Following Scotland's accusations of French foul play: "If you can't take a punch, you should play table tennis." - Pierre Berbizier
On Wales losing 28-9 against Australia: "No leadership, no ideas. Not even enough imagination to thump someone in the line-up when the ref wasn't looking." - J.P.R. Williams
"In 1823, William Webb Ellis first picked up the ball in his arms and ran with it. And for the next 156 years forwards have been trying to work out why." - Sir Tasker Watkins
"Rugby is a game for the mentally deficient... That is why it was invented by the British. Who else but an Englishman could invent an oval ball?" - Peter Cook
"Rugby backs can be identified because they generally have clean jerseys and identifiable partings in their hair... come the revolution the backs will be the first to be lined up against the wall and shot for living parasitically off the work of others." Peter Fizsimmons
"You've got to get your first tackle in early, even if it's late." Ray Gravell
"Sexton sensed it and immediately went left down the narrow side. His burst into the line was as flat as Twiggy's bust" Neil Francis on England vs Ireland Feb 2010"If someone starts talking about pride today I'm going to vomit... The Apache nation had pride and look where they are. The bushmen of Kalahari have pride and look where they are." - George Hook, ahead of Ireland v France (Feb'08)
"....but wasn’t that a sweet ball Ronan put down into the right hand corner to relieve the pressure." Declan Kidney Feb 2010 after O'Gara lets us know he is on the pitch against England
A “few knock-ons and I managed to take out the captain”, Paul O'Connell apprasing his game against England (Feb 2010)